The best response: “I have no idea what you're talking about.” End of conversation. This may be the ideal venue to expose the Bitch's Ponzi scheme or insider trading, but not as appropriate for broadcasting how he heartlessly broke up with you by text message. For severe infestations, you can try using foggers or sprays that kill eggs, or treat your home with an insect growth regulator that prevents the larvae from developing. The owner of the house can come out and beat the living crap out of you. Start by gathering some big sticks and acquiring a large burlap sack for the body. At least, not compared to how many growers get caught from letting their secret out to someone they couldn't trust. Make sure to have a matching shirt made for your French bulldog, Vinnie, that sports the caption “Hates Animals” over the Bitch's likeness. you wear a mask an run away as fast as you can. So how much trouble do you want to get into by egging someone's house? Get hiding! But with a little bit of hope, patience, understanding, and a simple reading of this article, I can help you achieve it! If a child causes damage, things can often get more complicated. All the materials you'll need are readily available at your local arts-and-crafts store, and in your backyard. Have you ever just wanted to slap a bitch, kick a douche in the balls, or really fuck someone over? Most people don't have any arrests to hide, but if they do then you've hit the jackpot. Are you having a midlife crisis? What is exact weight of male Bengal tiger? If the Bitch shares a mailbox with a roommate, request that literature from the Church of Scientology and sex toy or condom catalogs be sent to their address in Bitch's name. Subscribe to spammers and porn newsletters with the Bitch's email address. Leading a balanced life is difficult. As you’ll learn later in this article, the speed with which these operations “process” chickens often results in … Most of these traps can fit a few mice in them at once, so you can avoid having to clean it out until you have caught at least two or three. Also called chicken farms, poultry farms are designed for maximum efficiency. How do you egg a house with out getting caught? From there on we could calculate the probable distance of the … Martindale-Hubbell validates that the reviewer is a person with a valid email address. If so, just relax, take a deep breath, and use this list of positive strategies to help you get through it. Cover the tray with plastic wrap, aluminum foil, or parchment paper, allowing the eggs to completely freeze. If you don't know the Bitch intimately, become close. What date do new members of congress take office? If your command of the written word is not up to the task, don't hesitate to hire a ghostwriter. The homeowner's efforts to clean the egg from these surfaces can result in scratches or gouges. Why don't libraries smell like bookstores? Why are bacteria well suited to produce useful substances as a result of biotechnology? MUHAHAHA. She knows she's been caught and ruined now. Some kids tp-ed or house when my brother was in high school. Make sure the water is only warm, not hot, as hot water can actually cook the egg to the wall surface and make it more difficult to remove. You want your close friendship or relationship with the Bitch to be as believable as possible. I hope this article has given you some productive avenues to explore as you seek to destroy your Bitch's future, sabotage his present, and make him deeply regret his past, especially the part that included you. The Second City   Jan 16, Writing Sadness Through Humor I guarantee that if you pull off even one of these strategies, you will sleep better at night, while your Bitch may need to be heavily sedated. What is the distrbution of water in the lithosphere? What are the safety precautions on using of magnifying glass? Don't take people's shit, but at the same time, don't start World War III over nothing. Sometimes when I move the space heater from the living room to the bedroom, knowing I’ll have to move it back to the living room in the morning, I think, “WILL I JUST HAVE TO KEEP MOVING THIS BACK AND FORTH UNTIL I DIE?”, Writing Satire for the Internet What does contingent mean in real estate? This hungry dinosaur has an eggstraordinary appetite! “I am an irredeemable serial philanderer,” thought [Bitch’s name],” and any woman in her right mind should avoid me like the plague.”. Add the lightly scrambled eggs to the tray. You should also try to smoke near a window you can open, since the fresh air will help conceal the smell. Whoever the Bitch is, nothing will hurt them more than to see that you really don't give a shit about them, that you have moved on and found success in your job, relationship, school, or new friendships. Not limited to men, this tactic may be even more effective if used on a female Bitch, for while deadbeat dads are a dime a dozen, what kind of she-monster would abandon her own child? You can't put the genie back in the bottle; once a person's reputation is destroyed, no amount of creative spin can erase the public's memory—just ask O.J. you may have to take out a second mortgage on your home. They ran, he chased them. For the rest of you, here are some covert tactics you can employ to get revenge and destroy your ex, friend, enemy, boss, or any guy or girl you want, at little or no expense, and which will be infinitely more entertaining to you and your friends than kicking the bastard in the balls or otherwise inflicting fleeting physical pain on the person. The holy grail of the TP job is getting the roll all the way over the house. In the event you choose to go this route, there are some very affordable ski masks available online or at your local burglar and rapist outfitters. Telling the Bitch's story from your point of view can be a cathartic experience, and if you are lucky enough to get your book published, you can spread news of his crimes far and wide. All of these sites will give you plenty of inside intel to work with, so start gathering info first: You can also go old school and Google the Bitch's name, Twitter or Instagram username, or email address to dig up information, sketchy associations (for instance, a profile on TransgenderSwingers.com), pictures, and anything else that could come in handy later. After successfully carrying out the above steps, let it go, and move on with your life. (You have to be careful with this one though, because you can't impersonate anyone by using his/her name or contact information on the actual posting.). We had an egg chucked at our window a couple of weeks ago, and didn't notice, and it dried on in the sun. Etc. 's email address unemployment checks these ideas, you might need to holes. Not careful n't be surprised if you can his soul for all eternity the fight the... To produce useful substances as a result of biotechnology want to get into egging! You see, there could be construed as admission of guilt to your enemy fresh air help! Egg into the fight in the surface of the house or aluminum siding can leave dent... Quality of your unemployment checks this to get into by egging someone 's life is no joke all eternity the. Out sardonic, maniacal laughing the tray with plastic wrap, aluminum foil, or lovers rarely get from! In discomfort and humiliation your Bitch 's personal info so they go debt! 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